Vinnie & Twy

Archive for the ‘Canadian Federal Election 2011’ Category

I’m Rubber; You’re Glue

In bitching, Canadian Federal Election 2011, Canadian politics, Conservative, RoboCrisis on March 9, 2012 at 3:25 pm

I think it’s funny that the Robocrisis has caused such a hullaballoo. Put it in perspective. Considering all the other more serious infractions perpetrated by the Harper Government over the years, voter suppression is relatively minor. Let’s compare it to some other stuff like ooh, contempt of parliament, the illegal campaign financing of the in and out scandal, proroguing parliament multiple times. All of which we know about and they are definitely guilty of. But, whatever. At least everyone seems to care about Robocrisis. Probably because its just become all too much.

I’m so entertained by trying to keep track of it all. The Harper Conservatives have been trying everything to make this go away. Luckily for me, they always seem to return to the classics. It’s hilarious. “I’m rubber; you’re glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you”. Let’s make a list. Come on. It’ll be fun.

1. It’s no big deal and who cares anyway…
Alleged Election Crank Call Just an Honest Mistake Tories Say

2. Wasn’t me.
Absolutely Definitely No Tory Role in Robo-calls Harper Insists

3. You’re just jealous…
Harper Dismisses Robo-call Scandal as Smear Campaign by Sore Losers

4. The butler did it.
Tory Staffer Leaves MPs Office in Wake of Voter Suppression Probe

5. You know, now that I think about it, there was this one guy…
Robocalls Phone Number Registered to Pierre Poutine

6. It was The Liberals. They are always so mean to us.
Conservatives Blame Liberals

7. We don’t know who it was, but we have hurt feelings too.
Tory Backers Also Got Robocalls

8. Look over there! What’s that?
Grit Behind Vikileaks Called Before Ethics Committee

Yes. Create a diversion. The perfect last ditch effort. Now the guy who created the Vikileaks thing will endure a public shaming. The difference is; all of Canada cheered when Vikileaks came out. Even me. Why? Because when someone gets all pointy they deserve a dose of their own medicine. Everything on Vikileaks was public information anyway. The guy simply took the time to compile it and then clicked “tweet”. Besides, the Liberals took it seriously and fired the guy as soon as they found out who he was. Bob Rae even gave an apology.

As much as the HarperCons wish for this whole nasty mess to ricochet over to the Liberals; I really hope it doesn’t.

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Mystery of The RoboCrisis

In bitching, Canadian Federal Election 2011, Canadian politics, Conservative, RoboCrisis on March 8, 2012 at 1:31 pm

You know what? I think perhaps we should change our way of thinking re: Bill C-30, the so-called internet spying bill.

Initially, I was among the millions of Canadians who hate the idea of having my emails and messages read by who ever feels like accessing them without a warrant. I wondered why on earth the Conservatives would ever need my banking information or credit card numbers. Those numbers are useless to both them and me.

Then I was imagining some Con MP getting his assistant to access my 13 year old son’s Playstation Network history. Could information like that be used to gain unfair advantage for his own kid in Call of Duty? Would my boy be prevented from further advancement in his favorite online gaming community? Would his life be forever changed? It just might kill his confidence completely. He would grow up with no hope of a bright future. The Con Artists could bestow more privilege than ever upon their own children. It would surpass private schools and launch them into a whole new realm of possibility. Non-Conservative offspring would be forever doomed to a life of hopeless failure.

Then I decided to stop thinking about it at all. So I did.

That only lasted until today. I’m back on it because I read that Vic Toews got permission to find out who accessed his court records and put them online. Then a light bulb went off somewhere above my head. That story made me start to think of Bill C-30 in a whole new way. Wait a minute! If Bill C-30 does pass (oh, the suspense is killing me!) it could come in handy for us non-Conservatives too. It might just work both ways!

Maybe let’s support the stupid thing. For awhile at least. Then the Con Artists in Ottawa won’t have to agree to anything. Elections will just be able to access all their records without permission or a warrant. That way we can get to the bottom of the Robocrisis lickety split and move on with our lives.

It’s Not Rocket Science Just Mark Your X

In Canadian Federal Election 2011, Canadian politics, Uncategorized on April 14, 2011 at 10:29 am

Kids, kids, kids….

When they told you at school that voting was a privilege, a right and your duty. You know, the way to have your say in how this country is run. They were actually not joking. It wasn’t an exaggeration or some fancy newspeak way of tricking you.

It’s great that lots of you have paid enough attention to be worried about the state of Canada. It’s even more great that you guys have bothered to speak out all over this vast internet via facebook and youtube. A+. Excellent. Good job making viral videos and this nifty website called shitharperdid.com. Super pleased.

However; we have a serious problem. There is another movement going on that has gathered way too much steam. Boycott The Federal Election is a completely dumb idea (Dave, I mean you too even though you are totally NOT a kid anymore). Not voting because someone you have never met doesn’t think the way you do, is not going to be a very effective way of making them think your same kind of thoughts.

I will tell you a sneaky way to exchange ideas with other people that actually works. Try talking to them. Hell, it even works on people who are old and people who are rich. I’ve tried it many times and man is it ever cool. You can even use it on politicians.

Here are some general instructions:

Step 1. Using your GOOGLE machine, attempt to find the local contact info for a Canadian political party in your vicinity.

Step 2. If you happen to have a CELL PHONE or an ORDINARY PHONE, dial the number provided by GOOGLE. If someone answers the telephone, tell that person that you are interested in getting involved in politics and you would like to find out more about their party and what they stand for. Chances are that person will say GREAT!!! and proceed to start a conversation with you. If that conversation goes well, you might go to their geographical location to meet those people and see if you like them.

**helpful hint…if you go and meet those people and discover that you can’t stand them because they seem crazy; (and this can happen. Hey, it’s a risk you take whenever you put yourself out there) By all means, run away. Do not FREAK OUT. Simply repeat step 2.**

You should now be able to cast your ballot with confidence. Steps 3 – 5 are only for those who have extra time on their hands and/or feel that we could all benefit from their revolutionary ideas.

Step 3. Once you have discovered a group of people who seem somewhat reasonable to you, start hanging out with them. This will allow you the opportunity to spread your smart ideas and impress others with your wit and charm.

Step 4. Help out, get to know the candidates and then you will know who to vote for.

Step 5. If you still can’t bring yourself to vote for anyone, become a candidate yourself or if you get really desperate; start your own political party. That’s what Tommy Douglas did. How do you think we got The Green Party and The Pirate Party? No, it’s not easy, but it’s totally allowed.

As far as joining an existing party, shit, that’s super easy! They actually want you to! They will be all smiley and everything when you show up! They especially love it when smart young people show up at their office!

Put your money where your mouth is kids. Don’t leave politics to the losers and the wingnuts. If you care about how you live and how your neighbours live, go out and vote.

Never forget this; the wingnuts always vote and they always vote for other wingnuts.