Vinnie & Twy

More Bunk Bike Lanes? Why?

In Bullshit Winnipeg on February 9, 2010 at 11:01 pm

Some yahoo at city hall thinks they are going to score points by spending a shitload of my tax dollars on more bike lanes. But this time they will be on Pembina Highway of all places.

Sakes anyways! We’ve been over this!

These crap Winnipeg style bike lanes are so dangerous. I am starting to think the goal is not to make for safer cycling, but to eradicate any and all cyclists within the City of Winnipeg.

It’s no secret that Winnipeggers have always hated cyclists. For those of you from more civilized places like Medicine Hat or Dauphin; Winnipeg has the most ridiculous bike ridership in all the land. I usually hesitate before I refer to any of them as “cyclists”.

All winter, you’ll see idiots on their bikes sliding on icy roads and trying to force their bikes through deep snow on all the main drags. It actually gets even better than that. We’ll have one bum pedaling a bike with another bum on the handlebars while balancing a two-four through the snow right down Main St. at rush hour. Hell, we get bums in stolen wheelchairs balancing other bums with a two-four down the middle of Main at rush hour! Last summer, I saw a bum being pushed across the street in a baby stroller with a two-four of beer!

Pembina has got to be one of the stupidest streets to have a bike lane other than say, Bishop Grandin or the Perimiter. We have too many accidents on Pembina as it is! It’s loaded with potholes that seem to get bigger all the time. What about the underpass? How can you expect some poor sap to make it down Pembina on a bike of all things?

Look at the ones they put in last year, they’re terrible! As I have already said, if you don’t have a helicopter to drop you and your bike onto the road, you can’t get to the bike lane! And then it just ends!

Wait a minute…… didn’t I hear on the news that the City is buying a new helicopter? That must be what its for! Of course.

OK then, it might be starting to make sense. If they use the new helicopter to transport the cyclists to the designated bike lanes, then fine. Go ahead I guess. Seems pretty expensive. How will we contact the chopper pilot when we wanna go for a bike ride? Do we just call 311?

I don’t see why we couldn’t have the bike lanes on the streets adjacent to the busy streets, but OK. Whatever, you guys at city hall are the ones who know about these things, not me.

  1. Been on Pembina in a car didn’t much care for it then can’t imagine being on a bike on it. That said I read the Winnipeg Free Press article for a laugh (with most of the comments) One person wrote in the following comment; (edited for size only)

    “Posted by: Brian_wpg – I do suggest people go visit Ottawa and truly see what a marvelous [sic] bike lane, rapid transit and overall infrastructure the city has … For the cyclists they have many paths that can get you from one end to the city to another without being on the road with other cars. The bike lanes are … incredibly safe. The rapid transit, … [is] fantastic and blows anything we have away. When a bus can go across town without stopping once that’s impressive…. The Queen Elizabeth Way … is fantastic. You can go from Kanata to Orleans at 120 kmh/s without stopping and make it within 15 – 20 minutes.”

    Just to clarify a thing or two, should any Winnipeger believe Brian who is obviously SMOKING CRACK.

    1. Our Bike paths don’t go where we want to go
    2. Our transit system is so bad they want to bury it under the downtown core something the city has been talking about for years (also the city was sued for cancelling contracts to do so)
    3. Our Bike lanes are wide enough but half of them run in the middle of the freakin streets not down the side of the roads (death traps – Ottawa drivers can’t drive worth a crap. “incredibly safe” my butt)
    4. No bus can cross Ottawa without hitting every stinking traffic light in the city.
    4. Brian said “You can go from Kanata to Orleans at 120 kmh/s without stopping and make it within 15 – 20 minutes” Brian is deluded. You may be able to go from Kanata to Orleans (where I live) in 15 minutes if you do it at 3 AM and go about 150. I drive half that way to work every morning and make it in 30 mins.

    Be happy your city council is not half as stupid as ours. So if you hear anyone say I wish out system was as good as Ottawa’s you have my permission to LAUGH.

  2. FINALLY! I agree with you on something!

  3. I’ll be biking down Pembina all summer so I don’t waste money on fuel/parking/time.
    Be healthy and whine to yo momma.

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